Hard Pore Corn

I have often wondered what the source of true joy could be. And upon pondering enough and finding no solution, I have left it at that. But this morning I was reminded of someone by someone else and the solution came rushing to me as the stench from a typical Bangalore gutter.
The joy of living truly dwells in being a slave driver. Believe it or not, you cannot derive such unadulterated pleasure from anything else. Not even from chocolate. Oh hell…..not even from sex!!!
Imagine the whole world doing your chores. Dropping you off at your rendezvous when they’re not even gonna wait back and say “Hi!” to the 3rd party. Buying you your most coveted delights, without a gesture in return. Laughing heartily at your worn-out, pale jokes as if their lives depended on it. Dispensing ideas to you like an automaton so you can boast to your friends (or other potential slaves) about how you thought of it while you were choking on food. Also the food in question was bought for you by the slaves, but they can’t talk about it, can they? And oh yes, listening to your “almost always wrong” advice on anything and everything. What fun, I say!!!
Losers do exist in this world, waiting for that mediocre person with an uncanny talent to trap them with their pitiful stories and even more pitiful looking faces. One look and the losers will go out of their way to cloak the puddle as the dominant smile on the now not-so-pitiful face splits like a banana under the weight of the cream.
So, what’re you reading this for? Go get your own.

Thanks to a post by Ramanand long back, I decided to listen to this new ARR offering. Must say I’m pretty impressed. ARR has come up with another gem. Full of youth and vigor. My favourites from the list are “Rang de basanti”, “Lukka Chhuppi” and “Paathhshaalaa”.
Check out Ramanand’s post if you need a synopsis before you go and buy it.

P.S: I could have posted a link to the online source where I found the songs, but then I don’t want to cut short my e-life. So samajhdaar ko ishaaraa kaafi and exit stage left to Google :)

There’s this extremely hilarious advertisement on the radio these days. It’s for Lux Body Wash. It starts off with an extremely horny character reaching a wrong number and the phone is answered by a bored housewife-like person having nothing better to do on a lazy sunday afternoon.

Horny Middle Aged Guy (HMAG): Hello, is this baby doll?

Despo Housewife (DH): Baby doll?…ummm, yes. This is baby doll.

HMAG: Baby doll….let’s talk about s*bleep*x.

DH: Oh yes. Would you like to take a shower with me?

HMAG: Oh sure, baby doll.

DH: Alright. We’re now in the shower. The water’s wetting my body.

HMAG: Ohhhh…….baby dooollll (ok it’s getting redundant now) I wish I was there with you!

DH: Ummm….I put some Lux body wash on my loofah. It feels so nice. (First signs of this actually being an advertisement surface)

HMAG: Ohhh….baby doll. (there he goes again)

DH: My body smells so nice. It feels so soft.

HMAG: Oh baby doll (someone get this guy a thesaurus or pick up lines for dummies)….baby doll you’ve got so much s*bleep*x appeal.

DH: You mean Lux appeal? I’m no Baby Doll. I’m Laxmi Godbole. And whenever I feel excited I don’t reach for the phone. I reach for the new Lux soft body wash.

After this a guy launches into some explanation of how Lux body wash can do wonders for your skin and rounds up with a quick "The Lux Appeal". I think I will give my dog a wash with this thing. Now only if someone would sell me a dog. Heel boy, heel !!