Hard Pore Corn

Yes. The iconic CBGB, which defined and introduced punk rock during the ’70s and ’80s, has completed its lease period. And now the New York city high and mighty want to bring down the axe upon it. Please don’t let this happen. Let us not let an era end like this. Click on the banner in the sidebar and sign-up the petition to save this heritage building.

In Bangalore, a lot of times one comes across these boards declaring the statistics on the accident scene. According to them the number of people dying of accidents has drastically gone down over the years. It seems they’re thankful to the road safety police for that. What else do you get from the huge red letters that read
“THANK YOU BANGALORE TRAFFIC POLICE”
But I think the real reason lies somewhere between the layers of bitumen. Or rather the spots where there is none. The multitude of potholes in Bangalore is, according to me, the real miracle worker behind the scenes. Well if you can’t take the tachometer beyond 20 kms/hr you can’t really hit someone fatally enough to kill them.
With there being a pothole every one meter on the roads , it suddenly feels a hell lot safer on the roads
Check out this one. Bangalore Pot Hole Directory.

According to Guardian, the number of girl foetuses that are killed every year has slowly but surely reached the 0.5 million mark in our country. It’s shocking to see that in this day and age so many parents choose to abort the child if it is found to be a girl in a pre-natal sex determination test (which by the way is illegal)
Most shocking is the following line:
In households where the mother had better education, it was significantly more likely that the birth of a girl would not be followed by the birth of another girl.

Check out the rest on Guardian Unlimited.

I have often wondered what the source of true joy could be. And upon pondering enough and finding no solution, I have left it at that. But this morning I was reminded of someone by someone else and the solution came rushing to me as the stench from a typical Bangalore gutter.
The joy of living truly dwells in being a slave driver. Believe it or not, you cannot derive such unadulterated pleasure from anything else. Not even from chocolate. Oh hell…..not even from sex!!!
Imagine the whole world doing your chores. Dropping you off at your rendezvous when they’re not even gonna wait back and say “Hi!” to the 3rd party. Buying you your most coveted delights, without a gesture in return. Laughing heartily at your worn-out, pale jokes as if their lives depended on it. Dispensing ideas to you like an automaton so you can boast to your friends (or other potential slaves) about how you thought of it while you were choking on food. Also the food in question was bought for you by the slaves, but they can’t talk about it, can they? And oh yes, listening to your “almost always wrong” advice on anything and everything. What fun, I say!!!
Losers do exist in this world, waiting for that mediocre person with an uncanny talent to trap them with their pitiful stories and even more pitiful looking faces. One look and the losers will go out of their way to cloak the puddle as the dominant smile on the now not-so-pitiful face splits like a banana under the weight of the cream.
So, what’re you reading this for? Go get your own.

Thanks to a post by Ramanand long back, I decided to listen to this new ARR offering. Must say I’m pretty impressed. ARR has come up with another gem. Full of youth and vigor. My favourites from the list are “Rang de basanti”, “Lukka Chhuppi” and “Paathhshaalaa”.
Check out Ramanand’s post if you need a synopsis before you go and buy it.

P.S: I could have posted a link to the online source where I found the songs, but then I don’t want to cut short my e-life. So samajhdaar ko ishaaraa kaafi and exit stage left to Google :)

There’s this extremely hilarious advertisement on the radio these days. It’s for Lux Body Wash. It starts off with an extremely horny character reaching a wrong number and the phone is answered by a bored housewife-like person having nothing better to do on a lazy sunday afternoon.

Horny Middle Aged Guy (HMAG): Hello, is this baby doll?

Despo Housewife (DH): Baby doll?…ummm, yes. This is baby doll.

HMAG: Baby doll….let’s talk about s*bleep*x.

DH: Oh yes. Would you like to take a shower with me?

HMAG: Oh sure, baby doll.

DH: Alright. We’re now in the shower. The water’s wetting my body.

HMAG: Ohhhh…….baby dooollll (ok it’s getting redundant now) I wish I was there with you!

DH: Ummm….I put some Lux body wash on my loofah. It feels so nice. (First signs of this actually being an advertisement surface)

HMAG: Ohhh….baby doll. (there he goes again)

DH: My body smells so nice. It feels so soft.

HMAG: Oh baby doll (someone get this guy a thesaurus or pick up lines for dummies)….baby doll you’ve got so much s*bleep*x appeal.

DH: You mean Lux appeal? I’m no Baby Doll. I’m Laxmi Godbole. And whenever I feel excited I don’t reach for the phone. I reach for the new Lux soft body wash.

After this a guy launches into some explanation of how Lux body wash can do wonders for your skin and rounds up with a quick "The Lux Appeal". I think I will give my dog a wash with this thing. Now only if someone would sell me a dog. Heel boy, heel !!

How great should a nation truly be if the world’s most powerful country is sanctioning $114 million for it’s security personnel to learn the foreign language. Read it all in this article in today’s Times of India. The funniest part is the opening lines itself.

The world is truly becoming a global village as Indian and all things Indian continue to rule.

What respect, what regard, what true spirit of patriotism? I’m baffled by this sense of pride that ToI has demonstrated by summarizing the entire phrase Global Village and limiting its usage to India and all things Indian. I salute you, O assassins of sanity.
I’m forced to wonder. If you put a bunch of monkeys high on hormones with typewriters in a room, do you get a newspaper everyday?

Came across this really neat piece of humour by a blogger who calls herself “Crystal Blur”. She’s sort of re-writing the Mahabharata and man is she good.
Here’s an excerpt from her latest post “Forest Hump”

Durvasa: “Aha! Payback time. Let the fleecing begin.” Durvasa decided to overcharge heavily. He got them hooked on a sham ‘buy one get two half off’ deal.
Madri: “I’m pregnant.”
Kunti: “Join the club.”
Gandhari: “I’m pregnant too.”
Dhritarashtra: “I rock”
Pandu: ‘Sulk’

Go check out the rest, here. I’m sure it’s equally rib-tickling.

A new product called the Sling-box, developed by the start-up Sling Media, is making waves in the US. It is basically a gadget which when attached to your television source (cable, terresterial or satellite) will stream the content via the internet to a computer. Now this would sound like a stupid waste of money in Indian apartment households. But consider the USofA where most houses have two levels. In such cases it would be really amazing to have this nifty tool which will save you money on that extra television set. Cool, huh? Probably a reason why it has sky-rocketed to Amazon’s bestseller category in the Christmas sales.
More about this in The Hindu and on Sling Media’s website.

…with Megadeth, especially Holy Wars (the punishment due), is bound to give any thrash metal fan an incomparable high. God bless Metallica for kicking out Mustaine. Else we wouldn’t have seen this gem of a band. Gold!

…and everything is very much the same. I still had to wake up early to get to office on time. The road was still full of potholes. People were still peeing next to a wall sign that reads “Please do no urine”. The woman in the next alley was still beating up her sod of a husband with some help from her neighbours. Men on the streets were still ogling at call center femme fatales who were waiting for their pick-up vehicle. Anarchy ruled supreme at the traffic junction as people continued to drive without any concern for others. The dogs were still screwing in the open…at 7AM!!!
As for new year’s celebrations, it was a mixed bag all the way. Went to the party at The Park, with Pehelwan, Keshav and a few other friends. Drank a bit too much tequila and lost total control. Didn’t know the Mexicans had come up with such a strong and potent emetic. No more…no more. I think I’ll just stick to good ol’ beer, henceforth. Do I hear myself making a resolution? Probably. I have a lot of memories from the year that was, though. Seems to me it was the best out of the 23 that I have witnessed. Here’s hoping this year outdoes it’s predecessor.