How to get away with accidents or “True Lies”
Having nightmares because your driving leaves behind a body count worse than the Chernobyl Disaster? Do you drive like an 80-year old lady with a distended bladder and has had astigmatism since she was 3 and who’s gulped down a couple of Mickey Finns with 5 Tequila shots for lunch? Afraid you might be at a loss for words when the “Ossyfer” flashes his torch and asks you for your license and registration before coaxing in the Breath-alyzer?
Fear not. Just use one of these tailor-made excuses that I’ve been working on:
- In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a pole.
- A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
- My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
- As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.
- The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran him over.
- The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
- The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
- To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
And if you feel embarassed about using such lengthy sentences in daily conversation then read my lips.
DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!
